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The Romano Family: Choosing Home and History in Rome, NY – Our Journey to Aging in Place

The familiar scent of Ellie Romano’s tomato sauce simmering on the stove was a Sunday ritual, a fragrant thread woven through the tapestry of their lives in Rome, New York. For Michael and Eleanor Romano, both just shy of their seventieth birthdays, their two-story colonial on a tree-lined street wasn’t just a house; it was a repository of memories, a testament to a life built together in the heart of the Mohawk Valley. Born and raised within the city’s embrace, they had witnessed Rome’s evolution, from its bustling industrial past to its resilient, community-focused present. Every corner of their home, every crack in the sidewalk outside, held a story. So, when the inevitable whispers of “what’s next?” began to surface, the thought of leaving felt like tearing a page from their own history.

The question, familiar to so many of their generation, loomed large: downsize to something more “manageable,” consider the structured environment of an assisted living facility, or find a way to remain in the home they cherished, the home where their children had grown, where laughter echoed in the hallways and decades of holiday gatherings were etched into the very walls? The decision was fraught with emotion, practicality, and the undeniable awareness that the years, while golden, were indeed advancing.

The Whispers of Change

It started subtly, as these things often do. Mike, always active, a former high school history teacher who still enjoyed long walks exploring Rome’s historic sites, began to notice a persistent ache in his left knee. The stairs, once an afterthought, became a more conscious effort, each tread a small reminder of time’s passage. Ellie, whose vibrant garden was her pride and joy, found herself taking more frequent breaks, the hours spent weeding and planting a little more taxing than before.

Conversations, initially lighthearted, began to touch upon the future. Friends were making changes. The Goldbergs had moved to Florida, chasing endless sunshine. The O’Connells, after Mrs. O’Connell’s fall, had transitioned to a well-regarded assisted living community just outside Utica. Each move, each story, acted as a gentle nudge, prompting Mike and Ellie to consider their own path.

“You know,” Mike said one evening, wincing slightly as he settled into his favorite armchair, “those stairs aren’t getting any shorter.”

Ellie, pruning a rose bush by the window, sighed softly. “I know, dear. But the thought of leaving this house… this garden…” Her voice trailed off. The garden wasn’t just a collection of plants; it was a living chronicle of their years together, each perennial a marker of a season passed, each new bloom a promise of continuity.

The emotional weight of the decision was immense. How could they leave the sun-drenched kitchen where their children, now grown with families of their own, had eaten countless breakfasts? The living room where the Christmas tree stood sentinel every December? The porch swing where they’d shared quiet evenings, watching fireflies dance in the twilight? The thought of packing up those memories, of closing the door on that chapter, felt almost unbearable. Yet, the practicalities of a multi-story home, with its inherent challenges for aging bodies, could not be ignored.

Exploring the Options – The “What Ifs”

Determined to make an informed decision, Mike and Ellie began to explore their options. They visited a few newly built single-story condos on the outskirts of Rome. They were modern, convenient, and undeniably easier to maintain. But they lacked the character, the history, the soul of their current home. The thought of leaving their established neighborhood, their familiar routines, felt like a significant compromise.

They also, with a degree of trepidation, toured a couple of assisted living facilities. The staff were kind, the amenities impressive – communal dining, organized activities, on-site medical support. There was a certain appeal to the idea of a life free from the burdens of home maintenance and the anxieties of future health crises. But as they walked through the pristine, slightly impersonal hallways, a sense of unease settled in. It was comfortable, yes, but it wasn’t home. The loss of autonomy, the feeling of being one among many, felt like a step away from the vibrant, independent lives they had always cherished.

The financial implications were another major factor. Selling their beloved home, a significant asset, and moving into a facility with ongoing monthly fees required careful consideration. They consulted with a financial advisor, mapping out different scenarios, trying to understand the long-term costs and benefits of each option.

Through all this research, the pull of Rome itself remained strong. Their social network was deeply embedded in the community. Their weekly bridge club, Ellie’s book group, Mike’s volunteer work at the Rome Historical Society – these were the threads that wove their lives together. Their trusted doctors were nearby. They knew the best spots for a good fish fry, the quietest corners of Jervis Public Library, the friendliest cashiers at their local Price Chopper. This familiarity, this sense of belonging, was not something they were willing to give up easily.

Slowly, a new possibility began to take shape in their minds. What if they didn’t have to leave? What if, instead of moving to a more “manageable” environment, they could make their current home more manageable? The idea of “aging in place,” once a somewhat abstract concept, began to feel like a tangible, hopeful solution.

The Decision – Embracing “Aging in Place”

The turning point came during a crisp autumn afternoon. They were sitting on their porch swing, watching the leaves turn brilliant shades of red and gold along their street. Their grandchildren had just left after a boisterous weekend visit, the echoes of their laughter still lingering in the air.

“I don’t want to leave this, Mike,” Ellie said quietly, her gaze fixed on the familiar landscape of their neighborhood. “I don’t want to leave us here.”

Mike took her hand. The pragmatic concerns were still there, but a different feeling was beginning to emerge – a sense of determination, a desire to find a way. “Then we won’t, El,” he said, his voice firm. “We’ll make it work. We’ll make this place work for us, for as long as we possibly can.”

The decision, once made, felt like a weight lifted. There was a sense of relief, of empowerment. They were choosing to stay, to adapt, to invest in their home and their future within it. They knew there would be challenges, modifications to make, adjustments to their lifestyle. But the joy of remaining in the place they loved, surrounded by their memories and their community, far outweighed the potential difficulties. They would age in place, in their Rome, in their home.

The Transformation – Making Home Future-Proof

With their decision made, Mike and Ellie approached the task of modifying their home with a renewed sense of purpose. They consulted with an occupational therapist and a contractor specializing in aging-in-place renovations.

The most immediate concern was the staircase. Mike’s knee wasn’t getting any better, and the thought of navigating the stairs multiple times a day was becoming a source of anxiety. They researched stairlifts, but the idea felt somewhat limiting, a constant reminder of their physical constraints. Then, they discovered the possibility of a home elevator.

Initially, it seemed like a daunting prospect – a significant investment, a major renovation. But the more they learned, the more it made sense. A home elevator wasn’t just about overcoming the current challenge of the stairs; it was about future-proofing their home, ensuring they could access every part of it for years to come. It would allow them to transport not just themselves, but also laundry baskets, groceries, and eventually, perhaps, even a caregiver, if needed. It was a solution that offered dignity, independence, and long-term peace of mind.

The installation process was surprisingly smooth. The contractor was experienced and considerate, minimizing disruption to their daily lives. The elevator chosen was compact, blending seamlessly into the existing architecture of their home. The first time Mike rode it effortlessly to the second floor, a wide smile spread across his face. “This,” he declared, “is a game-changer.”

Beyond the elevator, other modifications followed. In the master bathroom, they installed grab bars, a walk-in shower with a comfortable seat, and a raised toilet. Doorways were checked for width, and a few were subtly widened to accommodate potential future mobility aids. They upgraded the lighting throughout the house, adding brighter, more energy-efficient fixtures and motion-sensor lights in hallways and closets.

In the kitchen, they made small but significant changes – pull-out shelves in cabinets, lever-style faucet handles, and a slightly lowered countertop section for easier food preparation. They also embraced smart home technology, installing voice-activated lights, a smart thermostat, and a personal emergency response system, adding layers of convenience and security. The process of decluttering and reorganizing, while initially overwhelming, ultimately created a safer, more accessible, and more enjoyable living space.

Life Anew – The Joys and Realities

The transformation of their home brought a renewed sense of freedom and peace of mind. Mike’s knee pain, while still present, was no longer a barrier to accessing the upstairs bedrooms or his beloved study. The home elevator became a normal part of their daily routine, a symbol not of limitation, but of smart adaptation.

Ellie continued to tend her garden with joy, her connection to the earth a source of constant renewal. Their home, now more accessible and comfortable than ever, remained the heart of their family gatherings. Grandchildren still raced through the hallways, though perhaps with a newfound appreciation for the “cool elevator.”

They acknowledged that aging in place was an ongoing process. There might be further adjustments needed down the line, new challenges to address. But they faced the future with a sense of confidence and preparedness, knowing they had made a conscious choice to shape their environment to meet their needs.

Their connection to Rome deepened. They remained active in their community, their familiar routines a source of comfort and connection. They hosted bridge club without worrying about guests navigating the stairs. They attended events at the Capitol Theatre, knowing they could return home to a space that was truly their own, truly safe, truly comfortable.

The Romano family’s journey to aging in place in their Rome, New York home is a testament to the power of choice, adaptation, and the enduring importance of home. It wasn’t always easy. It required research, planning, investment, and a willingness to embrace change. But the rewards – the ability to remain in a cherished home, surrounded by memories, connected to their community, and in control of their own lives – were immeasurable.

Their story offers hope and inspiration to others facing similar decisions. It reminds us that while the future is uncertain, we have the power to shape our present, to create environments that support our well-being, and to choose a path that aligns with our deepest values and desires. For Mike and Ellie Romano, that path led them right back to where they started, to the heart of their home, in the city they loved, ready to embrace the coming years with grace, dignity, and a quiet joy.